Psychologist links strict upbringing to controlling behavior in relationships

Psychologist Oriol Lugo Real says that people raised in very strict, rigid environments with many rules tend to be controlling in relationships. In a recent conversation with communicator Álex García, he explained that toxic dynamics often arise when two people come together without having healed certain emotional wounds Source: Clarin.

Key claims

• Lugo Real identifies the abandonment wound as a classic trigger: children who felt their parents weren't there for them, or even subjective memories like being picked up late from school, can carry that feeling into adulthood Source: La Vanguardia.
• He adds the injustice wound: "People who have been raised in a very strict, rigid environment with many rules and norms are very controlling" Source: Clarin.
• The combination of these wounds can create a strong codependency: one partner pleads "don't abandon me," while the other says "I will protect and control you" Source: La Vanguardia.

The reaction

Psychologist Silvia Congost echoes that a toxic relationship doesn't necessarily mean one partner is a bad person; it can happen between two good people when certain attitudes trigger emotional wounds. She emphasizes that healthy relationships rest on five principles: admiration, trust, respect, acceptance, and communication Source: Clarin.

What's next

Lugo Real advises working on these wounds individually, recommending a period of solitude to get to know oneself. He notes that people who jump from one relationship to another within weeks are often filling an emotional void Source: La Vanguardia.